Jay
by starspatter
Summary: In which history repeats itself. ...Or, Joker lets Robin in on a little secret.


I'm back with more RotJ goodness~

A bit of background: This piece was partially inspired by a short ficlet (s/6853931/1/Always-Laughing) along with the related image linked within. The idea of Joker being aware he's in a fictional world + their alternate incarnations and passing that knowledge onto Tim to drive him crazy struck me as a clever (and creepy) idea, and decided to combine it with the concept that in the BTAS cartoon, Robin is essentially a mix of Jason and Tim. So... Consider it as sort of a potential AU I guess.

P.S. Happy Father's Day! *shot*

* * *

"And _how's_ our little bundle of joy doing today?"

 _go to hell you bastard_

"Tut tut, such _language_. Harley honey, hand me the soap, will you?"

"Comin' right up, puddin'!"

 _don't you **dare** put that in-_

"Say 'ahhh'!"

 _screw you_

"There now, all squeaky clean. Old Batsy never taught you any manners, did he?"

 _he taught me how to fight filthy scum like you_

"Or should I say, Bruce Wayne?"

…

"You know, I've been thinking: Perhaps it's about time we take a look-see what's under that mask. I mean, it's a bit rude to keep having a conversation when you don't know what the other person looks like, wouldn't you say?"

 _no no you can't you_ _ **can't**_

"Come now, no need to be shy. After everything we've shared with each other, why, we're practically _family_. You can even call me 'Uncle J'."

 _i'd rather die_

"…Or perhaps you'd prefer 'Daddy'?"

 _ **you** are not my father_

"After all, you've already sold out your boss. And he still hasn't come to your rescue, has he? Poor lad. First abandoned by your old man, and now by his surrogate. How long has it been now? Days? Weeks? I confess I've lost track in all the amusement; time flies when you're having fun."

 _he's coming_

 _he'll come_

 _and when he does he'll make you pay_

"It's too late. I've already won. You and I both know that."

 _why won't you just kill me then_

"Now where would the pleasure be in _that_? I wouldn't want to break my brand new favorite toy before I've had a chance to fully play with it. …Not this time, anyway. I've learned my lesson after the last Robin I tried to roast. No, no, you misunderstand me, my dear boy. I don't wish to _harm_ you. I have something bigger, better in store for you. You're precious goods, a golden goose. My ultimate pride and project. The perfect pawn to carry out my master plan, my final masterpiece. I only aim to hurt _him_ , and you will be the one to help me."

 _i won't i'd never you can't make me_

"Oh please. You've already done more than enough damage, haven't you? Because of you, Brucey's cute little 'crusade' has been compromised. I – the Clown Prince of Crime, Batman's greatest nemesis – know everything. ...Not that it matters to me who he is in the end."

 _then why_

 _why are you doing this_

"Why? For the same reasons as you. Because it's _entertaining_."

 _this isn't funny_

"Isn't it? You and I, we're alike. I've sensed it since I laid eyes on you, birdboy. We're kindred spirits, destined to intertwine."

 _i am_ _ **nothing**_ _like you_

"Fun and games. Boy Wonder playing hero. Makeup and make-believe. Don't tell me you don't get off on the joybuzz. For you it's delivering a punch, for me it's the punchline. We're both just children at heart, fitting into roles for a show. Marionettes on a string, made to sing, performing flips and tricks for attention. Don't deny, even I'll concede: Craving _his_ most of all. But that's not the true magic. The beautiful irony is there's a whole audience watching out there, hidden behind the curtain. They _want_ to see us at each other's throats. It's a secret, a sham, a total scam. Nothing but a clever diversion. Don't let the higher-ups know, hush hush. Old Bats never got the joke, but you… You understand. From the way you come at me, Batarangs blazing without a care – bite and struggle and wag your tail and beg, you enjoy every minute of it. Feeling like you're a part of the big leagues despite never making a difference, a dent in the grand scheme, this giant board we're teetering on the edge of. All it takes is a push, a shove, one bad day, and we're in for a fall, a free-for-all."

 _what are you **talking** about_

 _you're not making sense_

 _nothing makes sense anymore_

 _it's all your fault_

"Am I really the one you should be blaming though? Come on, think about it: Who in their right mind would let a kid like you parade around fighting crime? And they call _me_ insane. Why, as I recall not even the first Boy Blunder faced up against the supreme likes of myself at your age. Now look where it's gotten you, eh?"

 _i'm not a kid_

 _i'm Robin_

 _i'm a hero_

 _i help people_

 _i've helped people_

 _(help me)_

"You think so, but once we peel back the layers, the colors and costumes and cartoon polish, you'll see we're not quite so different underneath. Caricatures, projections. Don't you get it? We're one and the same."

 _i'm not you're a monster a madman a murderer_

"That's why I'm doing this for your own good. I'm here to _protect_ you – to claim what's rightfully mine – before some other hack third-rate villain gets to you first. You and I together, we'll stick it to the man. Stick with me, kid, and you'll go places. We'll paint the town red, send them a _real_ signal to beware. You're my message to the world, that it's mine to mess with as I please."

 _you're sick a stark raving lunatic i hope Batman gives you hell he'll make sure you rot in a cell for the rest of your wretched life_

"On the contrary, I'm the only one who sees things for what they actually are. Call it the cynicism of an aging jester, but I have to say, even _I've_ grown a bit tired of the same old song and dance routine: I do terrible and crazy things, Batman shows up to stop me, sends me back to the supposed 'state-of-the-art' looney bin. I break out, and the wheel of merriment starts all over again. But let's face it: It's all just a gag, a stunt, smoke and mirrors. Batman's the fool for falling for it over and over. Repeating the same mistakes, because that's what viewers demand. Can't you hear the studio track laughing? No? That's because it's long gone silent, the plug's already been pulled. Alas, comedy's a dying art, I'm afraid. No one appreciates humor and happiness anymore, it's all about the brooding and darkness, who can rack up the highest body count. There's no _finesse_. So let's raise the score, give them a real encore, a big bang for the finale. The ultimate payoff, send us off with a flair. A real _shocker_ , shall we say?"

 _no pleasedon'tnotagain_

"Hit it, Harley."

 _oh god ithurtsithurtsithurts so much make it_ _ **stop**_

"You see, death would just be too convenient. The network wants to can me if I don't come up with new material – **me** , the biggest icon of this franchise! I've got to step up my game, mix it up a little. Add a bit of a twist. Don't think badly of me, society's at fault. _They're_ the ones who demand a fresh face and blood, to boost the ratings."

… _what are you going to do to me_

"I'm just going to conduct a little experiment. Nothing major, just a few tweaks, bodily alterations here and there; a slight redesign. You've already got the potential within. You see, I'm willing to make a bet for the lasting future. And I'm betting on you, kiddo. You're more than just bait; you're my insurance. To carry on my legacy after I'm gone. It's time for a change, to reinvent our image. 'Evolutionary', my dear Wonder Boy. Before that though, we'll have to remove this tacky thing."

 _don't_

 _don't touch me_

 _don't look at me_

 _give it back_

"My, quite a handsome young devil, aren't we? But it could certainly use some improvements. Harley, be a doll and lend me a hand."

"Sure thing, Mistah J!"

 _get away from me you psychos_

"Now hold still."

 _stop what are you doing get it off get it off get it off_

"Hm, better… But it's still missing something."

 _please_

 _no more_

 _i've told you everything i know_

 _so just let me go_

 _i want to go home_

"But you _are_ home. Don't you worry none, my sweet child. Mommy and Daddy will look after you from now on. Now, now, dry those tears. They'll make our handiwork run. That's the ticket: We'll put a smile on that sourdough face soon enough."

 _i already_ _ **have**_ _a family_

"And just where are they now?"

…

"You and I, we're meant to be together. We've got history, a special connection, Jay."

 _stop_ _ **calling**_ _me that_

 _that's not my name_

 _it's-_

"Tim Drake? What a fake. Granted, it was a good ruse. I hardly recognized you at first. Still – you can try to hide behind another handle, another face, another personality, but I can tell: You're my darling Jaybird, my feisty little firecracker. You _belong_ to me."

 _why_

 _why me_

"It was either you or the Gordon girl, to be honest. I tried reenacting my magnum opus with her and her pops once, but Bats managed to foil that as well. A pity, I wanted to end things while they were perfect… So now I just have to rely on you. You've already been of great assistance. It's funny in fact, I never _did_ quite piece together the link between them. All this time it was just a coincidence she ended up a target. I've got _you_ to thank for spilling- spelling it out for me."

 _i'm sorry Barbara Dick Bruce i'm sorry i'm so sorry he made me i couldn't take it anymore i was weak i broke i spoke and now he's going to ruin destroy what's left of me i'm scared save me_

"It's no use, no one can hear you screaming. I believe we've long established that."

 _they'll find me they'll free me they'll forgive me and we'll have pancakes and everything will be all right_

"I wouldn't count on it. Bluebird's flown the coop, and as for the other two – they've been ignoring you for a while, haven't they? I've seen you flying solo on the rooftops, night after night. That's how I figured you'd respond to my tra- ahem, _invitation_. Such _juicy_ gossip has been plastered all over the papers lately, of Gotham's resident playboy billionaire dating the Commissioner's daughter; who knew they were also Batman and Batgirl? _Scandalous._ I bet they're glad to be rid of Robin, so they can have their quality 'alone time'."

 _that's… that's not true_

"Felt like a third wheel, didn't you? No need to say anything. You always looked so lonely by yourself, like you needed a friend, a buddy to shoot the breeze. If you want, I'll be your ally, partner."

 _partner…?_

"That's right. _Partner._ None of this 'sidekick' business. We're equals, two sides of a coin."

 _Batman is my partner_

 _he's my buddy_

 _my hero_

"Mr. 'I Am Vengeance, I am the Night', your so-called 'savior'? Let me get this straight though: Surely the world's greatest detective would've figured out your location by now? Quite frankly I don't see how it could _be_ much more obvious. It's not like I've gone out of my way to disguise it. Why, I'm just as surprised as you it's taken him this long. The only explanation would be, well… that he's left you for dead. Maybe already moved on to another replacement. You were only ever second fiddle, there to fill the position of making him look and feel better about himself."

 _shut up shut up stop talking you're lying_

"Admit it, you've always been aware to some extent: All he _really_ cares about is the mission. You've had your own doubts, displays of defiance. The truth is you've been a ticking time bomb from the beginning, set to blow at any point. I was tempted to trigger the downfall earlier, knock down the domino castle, topple his pretend house of cards. ...But I held my hand. Stayed the course, stuck to the script. Bided and bit my tongue. How _long_ I waited, to pluck the fruit from his clutches at your prime."

 _i don't understand_

 _my head hurts_

 _everything hurts_

"You will. When the madness – I call it 'clarity' – sets in, you'll begin to see things my way. Don't be afraid. It's liberating, once you realize you can do anything without consequence. How do you _think_ I've always survived my encounters with Batman? _'They'_ won't allow me to die. ...Not permanently, at any rate. It's both a blessing and a curse; I'm just too damn charming and popular to stay gone for long. Stay by my side, and I'll give you everything you've ever dreamed of and more. We'll have a wonderful lark, you and I. Together we'll rule this city, and collapse this colossal farce once and for all."

 _i don't want to rule_

 _i just want the pain to go away_

"No more pain, so long as you listen and do as I say. Cross my heart."

… _no more pain_

"There's a good soldier, my obedient Arkham knight. Strong, fearless Jay- son and heir to my empire. All the world's a stage, our private playground. At ease, private. Relax, for this is no longer an electric chair; think of it as your throne, your new home. From here on you'll be the prince of clowns – wear my crown (but let's ditch the dreadful cape) – and I the king, lord of everything. …Now, smile and say 'cheese' for the camera, Junior."

 _hee_

 _hee hee hee_

"Shh. That's enough excitement for now. Save your cheer, you'll need all your energy for what's coming. You must be exhausted, and that won't do to show our guests when they arrive; we want you to be in tip-top shape. Hush now, little bird, don't say another word. Rest your weary head and go to sleep. Here, swallow this: it will numb the ache, help you unwind. Send you off to slumber with some happy thoughts. I'll tuck you in, and Mommy will sing to you a lullaby. Won't that be nice?"

… _ah_

 _that's right_

 _mom used to sing_

 _she took these kinds of pills too_

 _mommy don't leave me_

 _dad's drinking again_

 _he's doing bad stuff and the police are after him_

 _where are you daddy_

 _you're coming back for me_

 _aren't you?_

"We're right here, JJ. No one's going anywhere. I promise. We'll watch over you until the morning, keep you warm and safe. Goodnight, my puppet. Sweet dreams, and sleep tight. When you wake, tomorrow's a brave new world. …And we're gonna take it by storm."

 _no more thunder and lightning darkness and clown-filled nightmares daddy gave his word i'll be a good boy so daddy will praise me a lot and let me out let me out let me see the sun again i'll be good i swear to **god** i'll be good_

"Attaboy. You learn fast. Soon, I assure – both the sun and moon will be yours. Once I'm done with you, you'll be better than ever before."

 _better_

 _things will be better_

"Trust me. You're going to be _spectacular_."


End file.
